| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|09:27 am] |
you said you hate my suffering
that you understood
and you'd take care of me
you'd always be there.
but, where are you now? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|01:22 am] |
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i'm really over this covert competition. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|12:48 am] |
there are so many reasons that i will never forget this night.
not only a night where my country proved it could overcome
barriers so widely and intrinsically accepted
but realized that there is a choice
there are other paths.
and even more that my generation
so often disregarded
and overlooked
was able to stand up
for either side and say
"listen to us!"
the numbers we produced this year
the records we broke
will truly make people pay attention
to the things that we need
and want.
we just have to keep it going.
the work starts now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|01:35 am] |
i have to look at him as jordan catalano
and hopefully i'll wake up one day
to the violent femmes
not caring.
but for now.
i do.
and i can't help it.
when hes around
i want to smile bigger,
laugh louder at jokes,
be touchier with my guy friends,
just so he feels like i don't notice him looking.
but i always do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|07:33 pm] |
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this is not where i thought i'd be in the beginning of the summer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|02:47 am] |
so i'm not sure how to feel about
getting hit on by another boy
in the same group of friends.
is it just that he thinks i'm cute
(which doesn't matter because i don't think hes cute)
or is it because he thinks i'm some sort of slut
(which i'm not...making out is no crime against humanity)
?
i've been making terrible life choices lately.
and i can't get a certain someone off of my mind
and its driving me completely batty. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|01:18 pm] |
i want something ridiculous to happen.
like a huge party.
make it happen? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2008|05:01 pm] |
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i hate when i get into these moods. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2008|12:01 pm] |
so maybe i wasn't being so irrational?
i don't understand why this type of stuff keeps happening to me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2008|01:41 am] |
i can't make him nervous.
because he makes me nervous.
i really have to stop convincing myself
that i'm not good enough
or that he changed his mind.
i have to stop being so fucking irrational.
also, why the fuck do i keep doing these things to myself?
different note.
different boy.
why? why? why? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2008|10:53 am] |
honestly, when did this become my life?
its cliche, but also so so so true
when you stop looking, and wishing, and complaining
thats when things start looking up.
when you realize that you really don't care
and you choose to be happy
(because yes, being happy is a choice)
thats when the universe decides to throw you a bone. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2008|02:56 pm] |
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its really difficult to feel like you're parenting your parents. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2008|06:13 pm] |
it sucks that at the exact moment that i am loving my life the most
i have to walk away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|06:55 pm] |
i need a warm summer night
and a dance party in the parking lot of kohls. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|04:05 pm] |
life is about choices.
there are things you can't control
but you choose how you let them affect you.
you choose whether they're going to ruin or make your day.
part of the reason i am happy with my life right now
is my absolute refusal to be unhappy.
i choose to make the best of everything that comes my way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|06:33 pm] |
there are so many times recently that i think about my life and smile.
not because anything ridiculously good is happening.
or because its crazy exciting.
(because it really is neither).
but because i'm completely content with myself.
and i think that thats the most anyone can ask for, really.
no. i have no clue what i want to do with my life.
no. i really don't like school or going to classes.
but not knowing is exciting to me.
and there are so many things outside of class.
the weather is getting warmer.
and i climbed a tree the other day
without once thinking in my head,
"i can't do this i'm going to fall."
and it may seem trivial...
but thats a big deal to me.
because i'm always afraid of falling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|10:45 am] |
you really have to be careful who you trust
and who you let into your life
because people aren't always who you think they are.
i really don't understand how someone can be so scummy.
you think your lies aren't going to get back to you?
they always do.
i'm really glad that matt and i talked.
because we were both being lied to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2008|01:52 pm] |
for the first time ever in geneseo history...
i got the schedule i wanted.
excellent. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2008|10:16 am] |
from 2:08 am to 2:46 am
i was begged for sex...
but not by the person i wanted.
and for once in my life
i was able to say no.
because although sex is nice,
i'm not going to devalue myself like that anymore.
the last time i hooked up with this begging kid
i felt like crap afterwards,
and i'm not going to do that anymore.
its not fair to me.
kelley you can skip this section:
also, i'm working with matt on sunday.
and i decided that at the end of our shift...
(after being normal the entire time)
i'm going to tell him that i get that we're not hooking up anymore,
and i'm fine with it because i knew it was going to happen eventually,
but that i'm confused because it was kind of sudden.
i love life
and the excellent decisions i'm making recently.
:) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|11:01 am] |
so. i should be getting ready for work.
and i made a promise to myself that i wasn't going to write in livejournal about this.
but when do i keep promises i make to myself?
i really thought i would be more upset about this situation...
but i'm honestly not.
yea, it sucks because everybody wants to be wanted.
other than that though...i could really care less.
i successfully managed to keep someone an arms length away.
and i'm proud of myself for that.
i'm still in the great headspace i was in before.
i'm still happy.
i still love my life and where i am.
its good to know i can be happy independent of others and their actions. |
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